| By blog.meevee.com,
on 08-11-2006
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Favoured : 107 |
This week on Battlestar Galactica, it's all Cylons, all the time: Cylons explaining their views of the world, Cylons getting a mysterious virus that makes them die barfing, Cylons having arguments about the future of their race, and Cylons being bitchy to poor Gaius Baltar in his bathrobe.
This is dangerous territory. When show creators Ron Moore and David Eick decided to take the plot of BSG deep inside the Cylon Base Ships, they ran the risk of revealing too much, thus making the scary enemy too familiar to be creepy. Worse, the Cylon could come off looking just plain cheesy. This was the first episode of the season where unintended cheese reared its milky head, and it wasn't pretty.
It's not enough that Ron Moore is planning a BSG spinoff called Caprica, which will be about the early origins of the Cylon as a Microsoft-like corporation develops them. He's got to make everything in BSG about the Cylon, too. While I'm as fascinated by the Cylon as the next geek, even I'm getting a little sick of the throbbing Space Odyssey-like red lights of the Base Ship, and empty philosophical talk about machine consciousness.
Still hot for humans, the Cylon threaten Baltar with death if he doesn't hand over a map to Earth. He's already feeling bad because Number Six is spending all her time snapping at him about how he'll never understand what it's like to be Cylon. Sometimes the D'Anna Cylon joins the slag-fest, and occasionally a naked Sharon model does Tai Chi with a scornful face in the background. At this point, Baltar would do anything to make his Cylon ladies happy. First, he gives them a map to the spot where he believes the Earth colonists went. After a bunch of Cylon investigate the location and come down with the barfing death sickness, Baltar volunteers to look into it. Turns out that the Cylon have brought some kind of ancient techno-phallus aboard their ship. It may be the source of the disease, but Baltar never mentions it when he returns to the Base Star.
Back on the Galactica, sickness is also taking hold -- but it's a psychological sickness. Morale is on its last legs, as the ultra-bitter Starbuck and Tigh get drunk while playing poker and make everybody feel like crap. They talk so much smack about how nobody suffered as much as they did in the Cylon prison that they've even pissed off Adama. In fact, Adama relieves Starbuck of duty, and sends Tigh off to the “drink yourself to death” pen. Luckily, the burning-hot Gaeta has Baltar's maps to Earth, so the humans are able to follow the Cylon into barfy death land. Unfortunately, they send Sharon to do some exploring, and it looks like she may be about to catch the same thing all the other Cylon did.
Let's focus on what's really important, though. Apollo lost that extra weight -- we get treated to an icky bare-chest moment in Galactica's gym -- and Starbuck has cut those awful extensions out of her hair. Plus, we discover that Cylon computers look like old-school monitors circa 1981, with giant pixels.
Also, we learn that the Cylon have these hybrid human-machine things that live inside cyber-bathtubs, babble out poetry, and seem to be helping to steer the Base Ships. Every time the ship jumps, the hybrid has what looks like an orgasm and cries out: “Jump!” Oh, did I mention the hybrid is a naked chick? Yeah. As for the other five models of Cylon we haven't met yet -- well, we don't talk about them. At least that's what Number Six said. What is the Base Ship, some kind of William Faulkner novel? We've got the pill-popping philanderer in Baltar, and now the Cylon turn out to have dysfunctional family dynamics that involve pissy blonde babes with secret siblings.
Can't wait for next week, when the humans have to decide whether to make every last Cylon barf and die. Source Link: http://blog.meevee.com/my_weblog/2006/11/totally_frakked.html Submitted by Zipper Talk about this article on our forum: http://galacticabbs.com/index.php?showtopic=615
Last update : 08-11-2006
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